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✩ LiYonG ' vAnEssA
✩ 9-TeeN gOin 20 .
✩ 30.08.89 .
✩ NUS Undergraduate tO be.
✩ Only Music in my life.
♥ Leow Jiunn Yuan (:
Wishes.
*Able to Survive in Chemistry
*Able tO Graduate with Honours in CHEM
*Maintain GPA 3.5 and abv for every Semester
*One Birthday wish to come True
*Visit Taiwan!
*Genting Trip in June!
*New Shoes and clothes :)
*fOrever with my Darling :D
*Able tO Graduate with Honours in CHEM
*Maintain GPA 3.5 and abv for every Semester
*One Birthday wish to come True
*Visit Taiwan!
*Genting Trip in June!
*New Shoes and clothes :)
*fOrever with my Darling :D
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Date: Wednesday, April 01, 2009 Time: 10:18 PM dreadful :(
Things arent going smoothly since the day i started working. 3 weeks past. and yes, i am quitting. every morning when the alarm goes off, it just marks the dreadful day. and yes, i broke down during work. on 31march. i was told to run real-time PCR for my supervisor. Each plate took abt 2 hrs, and she wants me to do 4 a day. ok. So its 9am to 5pm. i got to reach at 8am. and take the train at 7am. and wake up at 6am. the moment i reached the lab, i was the only person. and as i turned arnd, she started assigning me wat cell lines to do. alright. the moment i tell her yest the machine had an error. things started going wrong. She's like questioning me like a criminal. fck. its not even my fault. i've told my senior to attend to the prob, tt's why didnt tell her. and its seems like everything i do is wrong. nvm, i just nod my head and listen to wat she say. after half an hr, she came in again. and suddenly ask if i got read the whole manual. "wth? i've did for 4/5 plates b4 and now u question me whether i got the manual or read the manual?" of cuz i said no. AGAIN, she started her stuffs. this time i really cannot tahan liao. i gave tt attitude face and started doing my stuff. NEVER EVER HAD I FELT SO STUPID, WHY DO I GO BACK AND SUFFER ALL THIS SHIT WITH THAT PATHETIC 450 PAY. WHY DO I NEED TO ENDURE ALL THIS? i seriously felt like crying at tt moment. i've already endured tt pay is too little, i can take it. BUT i cannot tahan ppl who dun appreciate my effort of doing things. her microRNA scans are making me go blind, with sore eyes and everything. blur vision, waking up with painful eyes. all cuz of tt small little circles tt fcking other post doc as me to do. i noe i am working. i noe i got to do stuff given to me. but i am not ur slave. i am not a store keeper. do treat me like a person, a poly dip graduate. NOT a person w/o any education to do those stuff. hais, i'm just freaking angry. irritated. during IAP, no matter wat i got to endure. BUT i dun even give a damn now. She stil can ask me, wat happen to me? personal problems? yea, personal problems. She's always right, i'm always the person who has faults. anyway, i'm determined to leave by friday. or i wish, NOW. maybe pple will say "working world is like that", "supervisors are all like that". but, tell me, which idiot will go back and do all those shitty stuff, when she got a poly dip, and gets a freaking pay of 450. Maybe its bcuz the pay is damm little and i'm given this kind of -going blind and not knowing wat is going on- jobs, argh. i feel like i'm e biggest dumbest in the world. she told me i've been a great help, w/o me they cant get this far. LOL? nice words to ask me continue staying longer, but sry, bye bye. i really made a wrong decision. i realised. Its nv too late to end it. DETERMINED TO LEAVE. ALTHOUGH, I WILL MISS MY LAB MATES.. but under her, its just gonna make my depression worsen. yes, depression symptoms, i have them ALL. tt day has been the worst day, my eyes practically swollen due to crying. ha.. its not e first time i cried. during attachment, there's once too. Okay, done with toking abt the work stuff. Just hope my application for relief teaching will be approved soon. Better stuff to talk abt: 1) Another Perfect GPA (4.0) for last semester. thanks to Dr Timothy Tan, Mr Mak. But final GPA is only 3.56. 0.04 away from my wishlist. 2) NTU called me for Interview into 2nd year entry for Biological Sciences. the interview went on smoothly. not bad, the person was quite nice. and since my workplace has alot of angmoh, communication with the interviewer is still okay. 3) I have a new small small pillow, handmade by my aunt. "xiao bao bao" 4) Me and dardar are together for 2 years 3 months on April Fool! 5) I saw FeiLunHai (Fahrenheit) on TV.. omg, my YanYaLun. he's damm freaking shuai. alrights, i got attracted to my idol while watching Pi Li MIT.. so now, yea. he wore that yellow shirt, "Its monday". hahax. damm boyboy, but dun deny he is shuai. :) 6) My sister just turned 17 on 27march. omg, tt's lik so fast. i'm goin 20. haha.. dunno what else to tok about. maybe next time bah. but, this time working has been really an experience. i dunno why, it felt so much different from attachment. i dun wish to think abt it. right now, i just wanna leave there. ASAP. although its A*STAR, but suan le. dun look back. really dun. 
  Labels: depression |
