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✩ LiYonG ' vAnEssA
✩ 9-TeeN gOin 20 .
✩ 30.08.89 .
✩ NUS Undergraduate tO be.
✩ Only Music in my life.

♥ Leow Jiunn Yuan (:


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*Able to Survive in Chemistry
*Able tO Graduate with Honours in CHEM
*Maintain GPA 3.5 and abv for every Semester
*One Birthday wish to come True
*Visit Taiwan!
*Genting Trip in June!
*New Shoes and clothes :)
*fOrever with my Darling :D

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      Date: Thursday, July 24, 2008
      Time: 4:46 PM
    A sense of Something

      finally, my snow mountain of work has melted.. its spring again.. hahas. just left proteo report, FYP and e most impt, exams~

      finally done wif WISP. tt's sth to be happy about i guess. seriously hate tt lesson. haha.. sch timetable is getting abit better. wif lessons starting at 2pm and ending at either 4pm or 6pm. thursday is my free day finally :)

      just felt a lil sense of emo-ness. watched tv yest and this girl said,

      "i've got my new life. What about u? i'm able to let go of the past and search for my new future. Guy, do not get trapped in the past anymore. i've walked through, how about u?"

      this conversation, really made mi ponder all over n over n over again. am i e one, who is still trapped in e past? being bothered by alot of stuffs and causing unhappiness to myself, and.. my bf?

      i guess.. e fact is tt, i've nv let go of e past b4.. till now, i'm still unable to open up myself, and accept e new future.. haha, ironically. i'll always dream of things which i dun wish to face e most. what i tell him was, dar dar, i had a bad dream.. he noes, he noe what dream i meant exactly. hais.

      so many years had past. tt knot in my heart, seems to be a dead knot. maybe i dun even noe myself, why cant i just let go and accept a new life. but to trap myself in all sorts of shity feelings and worrying abt this n tt. haha. time will nv be my solution. what i need, is a psychologist now. and, i think i badly need one after so many years. but who? haha.

      i missed e times we had tgt. be it outside, in sch, in cca. but, a broken glass remains as a broken glass. sometimes, one just had to accept it. i shud.. just accept it. tt awkwardness, sometimes just drove mi crazy.. its a commonly word tt i hang at my mouth saying "i'm ok, i'm alright, of cuz i'm fine". but... i feel tired now.. dun wish to carry that mask of mine anymore. but i'm used to it. haha. oh welll.....

      one day i cant untie e knot, i wun be able to accept stuff easily as i can. okays, i'm torturing my own life anyway.. haha. maybe i dun mind, its just e personality i got. i take in and store inside.. suffer alone, rather den letting pple suffer tgt wif u.

      Thanks to stress and that beautiful snow mountain, i've lost weight again. a 42kg girl. my ideal weight as 45kg though. i've decreased from 48, to 45 and to 43. i've realised tt lost of weight, abit kua zhang when i felt tt my shorts n jeans are actually bigger. hohoho.

      Love is selfish, Love is blind. Love is Sharing. But, how do pple ever shared Boyfriends? haha.. not for me. till now, i treasure him and gave him whatever i can. :) i'll persevere on. i promised. :)

      i think, tt's all bah. i need my bed. my brain needs a rest. nights~

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